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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25195546">can i tell you a secret?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/worms212/pseuds/worms212'>worms212</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(and don't you ever forget it), Aromantic, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Kuroo Tetsurou, Coming Out, Family, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kozume Kenma is a Good Friend, emphasis on the comfort, listen i will populate that tag by myself if i have to</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:14:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,921</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25195546</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/worms212/pseuds/worms212</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hana Kozume considered herself a good mother. She’d handled a lot in her days, meltdowns, injuries, fights, you name it. By the time Kenma was part way through high school, Hana had figured she’d more or less done it all. So she was surprised when her 17-year-old neighbor showed up at her front door one evening looking like he’d just seen a ghost and she found herself at a total loss.</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>In which Tetsurou gets a crushing weight off his chest.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma's Family &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou's Father</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>77</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hana Kozume considered herself a good mother. She’d handled a lot in her days, meltdowns, injuries, fights, you name it. By the time Kenma was part way through high school, Hana had figured she’d more or less done it all. So she was surprised when her 17-year-old neighbor showed up at her front door one evening looking like he’d just seen a ghost and she found herself at a total loss.<br/></p><p>“Hi, Tetsu,” she greeted warmly. “I’m surprised you knocked; usually you just come right in.”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou shrugged. “Felt weird,” he replied sheepishly, shifting his weight nervously.<br/></p><p>Alarm bells were beginning to ring in Hana’s mind. The Tetsurou in front of her was nothing like the Tetsurou she was used to, who was always so brazen and confident, waltzing into her home whenever he pleased (a permission she had granted him many years ago) to bother her son or regale her with whatever thoughts were floating through his mind at the time. Hana was used to Tetsurou filling her often quiet home with his laughter and enthusiasm, but now he was eerily quiet, looking anywhere but her face as he stood stock-still on her front step, fussing with the sleeves of his sweatshirt--a mannerism he seemed to have picked up from Kenma at some point over the last decade. He practically towered over her, but tonight he seemed incredibly small, like the stretched out shadow of the young boy she once knew him as, the one who rarely spoke but seemed to take a shine to her son almost immediately.<br/></p><p>“If you’re looking for Kenma, he’s not home,” Hana told him.<br/></p><p>Tetsurou shook his head vigorously. “No, I know, I-- Can I talk to you about something?”<br/></p><p>Hana ignored the wary feeling rising in her stomach and stepped aside to guide Tetsurou into the house. “Of course, sweetheart, come inside--”<br/></p><p>“Um!” Tetsurou stopped her. “You can’t tell anyone. Especially not my dad.”<br/></p><p>Hana’s eyebrows flew up into her hairline. “Tetsurou, did you do something?”<br/></p><p>“No, no, it’s nothing like that! I swear.” He followed her tentatively into the house. “I’m just… not ready to talk about it with him.”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou allowed Hana to guide him into the kitchen, where she sat him down at the table and began rummaging through the cabinets for Tetsurou’s favorite tea. He watched her all the while with a tight expression, bouncing his knee hard enough to make the table shake. As the water began to boil, Hana sent him a sympathetic glance.<br/></p><p>“Is everything okay?” she asked. “Do you need anything? Have you eaten?”<br/></p><p>“It’s fine, I think if I ate right now I’d throw up. I just--” Tetsu took a shaky breath. “All I need is for you to listen and promise me you won’t think any less of me after.”<br/></p><p>Hana looked between him and the tea kettle a few times. “I wanted to make you some tea because you look like you’re about to jump out of your skin,” she explained. “But if you want my full attention right now, it’s yours.”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou shook his head. “No, I want the tea.” He smiled; it was a far cry from his usual Kuroo signature cheshire cat grin, but it alleviated some of the mounting tension in Hana’s bones nonetheless. </p><p>When the kettle began to whistle, she poured out a cup of tea for each of them and sat down in the chair opposite Tetsurou’s.<br/></p><p>“Now, take a deep breath and tell me what’s on your mind.”<br/></p><p>Tetsu hesitated, biting his lip and staring down into his steaming cup.<br/></p><p>“I promise, whatever it is, you can tell me. It’s not going to make me think any less of you.”<br/></p><p>A beat passed. Tetsurou sipped at his tea and took a deep breath before he finally looked her in the eyes. He looked fearful, like he knew once he put his next words out into the world he could never take them back. Hana merely smiled at him encouragingly and waited for him to speak.<br/></p><p>Finally, Tetsurou opened his mouth.<br/></p><p>“I think I’m aromantic,” he said. “Do you know what that word means?”<br/></p><p>Surprised, Hana shook her head. She didn’t know, but she would happily learn a thousand new things if it meant wiping that awful terrified expression from her young neighbor’s face.<br/></p><p>“I don’t think I can love anyone. Romantically, I mean,” he went on to explain. “Whatever it is people describe when they say they’re in love, or have a crush on someone, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that. It doesn’t… bother me that I don’t feel that way, but I feel like I’m supposed to.”<br/></p><p>Hana frowned.<br/></p><p>Blushing furiously, Tetsurou ran a hand through his unruly bangs and lamented, “You probably think that sounds unbelievable, or that there’s something wrong with me.”<br/></p><p>“No, Tetsurou, never!” Hana reached across the table for his hand. “Of course I believe you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You should be true to how you feel, even if that’s not how others say you should feel.”<br/></p><p>With a chuckle, Tetsurou mused, “It’s funny. For a little while, I thought I might be in love with Kenma.”<br/></p><p>Hana couldn’t help her bemused expression. She had sometimes wondered that herself.<br/></p><p>“But I realized that wasn’t quite it, at least not in the way I thought,” he continued. A beat passed, and then he waved his hands frantically. “I mean-- I love Kenma, of course! I swear! It’s just… not that way.”<br/></p><p>Hana laughed. “It’s okay, I understand.” She softened her expression and asked, “Does Kenma know all of this?”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou smiled and nodded. “We talked about it. He helped me figure it all out,” he said fondly. Then his face fell. “I haven’t told my dad, though. But I wanted to tell someone, and Kenma told me it would be safe to tell you.”<br/></p><p>That did sound like him, Hana thought to herself. Kenma had offered to go with his father to the store after dinner--which had been peculiar, and now that she thought about it, was probably on purpose.<br/></p><p>“Can I ask why you don’t want him to know?” she prodded.<br/></p><p>Tetsurou sighed, taking another drink from his tea cup. “I don’t want him to be disappointed in me, or think that there’s something wrong with me,” he confessed. “I’m afraid he’ll think it was the divorce that made me this way, or that he did something wrong in raising me. But it’s just who I am. And if I told my dad and he didn’t believe me, or he laughed, I don’t think I could ever trust him again.”<br/></p><p>Hana felt her heart break in half. This poor kid, her precocious neighbor Tetsurou who looked up to his father like he hung the stars, was afraid the man who raised him would reject, deny, or mock an immutable part of who he was. Nothing could have prepared her for that; she reasoned that it may have been easier had Tetsurou come to her and said he’d committed a crime. At least then maybe he wouldn’t be looking at her with such a wilted expression. She squeezed his hand.<br/></p><p>“Honey, your dad loves you so much,” she assured him. “He may not always understand, but he would never say or do anything to hurt you or push you away. He’d give anything for you to be happy just as you are.”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou smiled, wiping tears from his eyes. “Thank you, Hana-san,” he whispered.<br/></p><p>“Of course, Tetsu-chan. Thank you for telling me. I’m proud of you.”<br/></p><p>“Can I have a hug?”<br/></p><p>Hana leapt up from her seat and came over to throw her arms around the boy, letting him rest his head on her shoulder. She released him when she heard the click of the front door, ruffling his hair with a smile before she moved to clean up the tea kettle. A moment later, Kenma popped his half-dyed head into the kitchen and exchanged a knowing look with his best friend.<br/></p><p>“Hi, Mom,” he greeted, though his eyes were focused on Tetsurou. “Kuro, do you wanna play Mario Kart?”<br/></p><p>Tetsurou scrubbed vigorously at his eyes. “Sure, only if you’re ready to get your ass handed to you,” he taunted, getting up unsteadily from the table.<br/></p><p>“You lose every time,” Kenma shot back, turning and leading the way out of the room.<br/></p><p>Hana smiled to herself. This was their usual banter, now a much appreciated respite from the emotional conversation she’d just had moments before. Tetsurou sent her a look of gratitude over his shoulder before he followed Kenma upstairs, and soon enough, she heard his typical laughter pouring out of Kenma’s bedroom, punctuated by the latter’s exasperated shouts for him to shut up.<br/></p><p>Okay, maybe Hana wasn’t a perfect mother. But she was certainly going to do her best, both for her own son, and for the wild-haired kid next door who somewhere over the years had become something like a son to her himself.<br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tetsurou startled at his dad’s voice; he hadn’t realized he’d been lurking in the doorway long enough for Hiroshi to notice him. Their eyes met--his father’s, soft with concern, were bathed in the warm glow of the porch light.</p><p>Dear gods, Tetsurou couldn’t do this.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I finally decided to come back and add a second chapter to this! I may have gotten a bit emotional writing this. Let's just say this is self-indulgent wish fulfillment on my part. Hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Okay, you can do this,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Tetsurou thought to himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It’ll be easy. Just go downstairs and tell him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was sweating, despite the lingering chill and the house’s finicky heating; spring was on the horizon now, with Nationals long gone and graduation approaching swiftly. Spring was, as cliche as it sounded, a season for new beginnings, and with multiple university acceptances in his back pocket, Tetsurou figured now was as good a time as ever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma had called him over-dramatic for it, of course, but nonetheless he’d coached Tetsurou through the entire process. The odds were in his favor that his father would be accepting, or at the very least confused but cautiously supportive. And on the off-chance that this made things weird between them, well then soon Tetsurou would be going off to college, and he could just never come back--Hana-san would let him stay over if he needed without alerting his dad, right? But then, of course, there was the fact that Tetsurou very much did not want to be forced to burn bridges with the only blood family member that was still in his life. But then again, did he really want his dad’s support if it was only conditional on this one thing?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou paused in pacing the length of his bedroom and ran a hand down his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This was absolutely not going to be easy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that moment, his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. It was Kenma, because of course it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What, Kenma?” he said in lieu of a greeting.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your blinds are open. I can see you pacing. Turn around.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou obliged. He saw Kenma staring at him through his bedroom window, opposite his own, looking unimpressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stalker,” he muttered, but made no move to shut the blinds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re overthinking this, Kuro. Either you want to do this or you aren’t ready. No one’s forcing you.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou shot his best friend a sour grimace. “So pushy, Kenma! And everyone says I’m the overbearing one.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kenma rolled his eyes. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Look, if you want to do it, then do it. You know if anything goes wrong--and it won’t--you can literally just walk next door and Mom and I’ll be right here.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. I’m gonna do it.” Tetsurou took a shaky breath. “I’m doing it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then do it.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kenma reached up and the blinds fell shut in front of him, a clear sign that the conversation was over. Sure enough, the line went dead moments after, and Kenma’s silhouette disappeared from the window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was time, then. Tetsurou stared at his blank phone for a moment before shoving it back in his pocket and letting his unsteady legs carry him out of the safety of his bedroom and down the stairs. He found his father on the back porch, whittling away at a hunk of scrap wood--his latest in a string of mostly short-lived hobbies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hiroshi Kuroo was, by all accounts, a brilliant man and a good father, if a bit scatterbrained. After his divorce, he had moved them in with Tetsurou’s now late grandparents, and he had spent the following ten years trying to give his son the best life possible in Nerima. Tetsurou knew this, had been keenly aware of it for most of his life. All Hiroshi wanted for his son was for him to be happy, in part because he felt guilty--Tetsurou knew this. Somehow, the prospect of his father blaming himself for Tetsurou’s aromanticism was a more terrifying fate than outright disownment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the matter, Tetsurou?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou startled at his dad’s voice; he hadn’t realized he’d been lurking in the doorway long enough for Hiroshi to notice him. Their eyes met--his father’s, soft with concern, were bathed in the warm glow of the porch light.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear gods, Tetsurou couldn’t do this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” he stuttered out. His legs felt like soup, like they could give out from under him at any moment, and his heart, the traitorous bastard, threatened to burst out of his ribcage and bleed green all over the porch, seeping between the wooden boards like toxic slime.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Hiroshi said. He patted the space next to him on the stoop. “Here, come sit, tell me what has you so upset.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shakily, Tetsurou obliged. The air was chilly, but it cooled the sweat off his skin and helped to ease his breathing. It was quiet, save for the rumblings of a few cars passing by; if he listened closely, Tetsurou could hear the low gurgling of the Shakujii River, where he and Kenma used to play. His dad had returned to his whittling without another word, but Tetsurou knew Hiroshi was just waiting for him to speak his mind. He had always done that, even when Tetsurou was eight years old and had somehow lost his voice in the move. And, eventually, Tetsurou did find it in himself to speak, as he always would.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you can’t get the actual word out,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kenma had coached him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“then just tell him how you feel.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dad, I don’t think I can fall in love,” he said. Then, he quickly amended, “No, I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> I can’t. And I don’t want you to feel like it’s your fault or something, because it’s not, I think I was just born this way. And I don’t know if I’m allowed to be proud of it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou couldn’t look his father in the eye, but he felt his hand come up and settle on his far shoulder and flinched before relaxing into the touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rubbing his shoulder, Hiroshi said, “You know, Tetsu, when you were a kid you once told me in no uncertain terms that you thought getting married was stupid. At first, maybe I did worry a little that you only felt that way because you were still processing the fact that your mom and I divorced. But you were only a kid, so what did it matter? And I laughed it off, but sometimes I think that was unfair of me, that maybe you were trying to tell me something important.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But even as you got a bit older, you didn’t seem to change your mind much. You never really took an interest in love stories; even when you were very young, and I’d read to you, you were way more interested in whatever sci-fi book I was reading than anything your peers liked--though maybe that’s my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou laughed, the tension in his body easing somewhat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t take any interest in girls, and it didn’t seem like you had much interest in boys, either,” his dad continued. “Eventually, when you were in middle school or thereabouts, you stopped talking about it at all, and I figured that unless I thought you were in danger, I would let you be, and you would come talk to me about it one way or the other when you were ready. It seems I was right.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hand on Tetsurou’s shoulder moved to his other side, and Hiroshi turned him to look him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I only ever worried that you would try to be someone you weren’t, or that you’d be ashamed of who you are. I don’t ever want you to feel like you shouldn’t be proud to be yourself, because I have never once in 18 years not been proud of </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A beat passed, and then Tetsurou couldn’t help it. He started crying. It was like all the pent up fear and shame he had been feeling came rushing out of him in the form of ragged sobs that had Hiroshi scrambling to comfort him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, why’re you crying? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, fussy hands floating over his son as though he might combust if touched.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At that, Tetsurou couldn’t help but laugh through his own tears. “How come </span>
  <em>
    <span>you’re</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who got to do all the talking in my big moment?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, I’m a little confused.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou slung his arms around his father’s shoulders and buried his head in his neck. “Don’t worry about it, Dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Strong arms wrapped around his back and held him tight. “Are we okay now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tetsurou nodded into his dad’s shoulder. “We’re okay. I love you, Dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, kid. Always will.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The night was growing colder, but Hiroshi drew his son close and held him there, warm and safe, until the tears stopped and all the pain was gone.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was a bit nervous to post this because aromantic fics are not often well received but i was inspired by some really good aro haikyuu fics i've read recently, so i decided to go for it. this was mostly me projecting onto kuroo, as someone whose most unrealistic fantasy is to come out to a trusted adult as aro and be told everything is okay. i also just really wanted to write some interactions between kuroo and kenma's mom, because i think the idea of him kind of being adopted into kenma's family is cute!</p>
<p>might write a second chapter from kuroo's perspective in which he comes out to his dad? stay tuned.</p>
<p>hope you enjoyed it. aro rights!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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